It's funny that I found this again

Me in no specific order

Ramblings before Easter

I have Girl on TV playing as I follow the trail that is left for me by the minutes, typing, wishing for a yawn. ‘Hopeless,’ I smirk and shrug my shoulders. There isn’t much to be gained if I really think I could reap inspiration from staring at my small table drawer. It’s still interesting to stare at its design that looks like a map made during the 1800s.

The extremely narcissistic post

Through the years, social media paved the way for people to collect a handful of photos to put on it as their profile pictures. It serves as a badge, the first thing that others would see and look for when visiting their page. I suddenly had a funny urge to reflect on a couple of mine and I had a hell of a time laughing at how narcissistic I really am.

Be warned. This is my extremely...

Years after

I miss my FEU Chorale family. We've known each other for years now and it's so surreal that one of us is now getting married. Here are a few pictures of us getting together to plan the songs to be sung for the mass and the reception.

2013 Wishlist

2012 was quite a year for me. So many good things that came my way that it was totally worth suffering through the rough times. Experiences that opened so much doors, and helped me learn a lot of things. So here I am, a survivor of yet another doomsday prediction, wishing for more from life. Here is my top 5.

Whine and beer

I'm starting to get really acquainted with stress-filled days and seemingly endless episodes of tachycardia. Yes, this dance that I do for my work makes for a very wonderful afternoon television soap. With shifting characters that plot against my happily ever after, mostly consisting of people from work, I tirelessly fight to live through each day.

Why I'm an advocate, not a doctor

Here are five reasons why it's a good thing that chose the road that led me to be an advocate rather than a doctor. A pre-Christmas reflection on my life and how 2011 changed it entirely.

What I'll be telling my 18 year old self about sex

Be adviced: Contains explicit content of personal experiences


...that it really would have been worth it to have waited for the right person. But since I couldn't, here are the things I would have included in my advice.

Something New

Isn't it quite wonderful feeling having found new things? You go about your semi-retarded lifestyle of being the grunt who lives day to day, and without so much of a warning life throws you into a kaleidoscope existence where everything suddenly is in every shade of the rainbow.

Life is now colorful.

I've been blessed enough to experience these the past month since my last post. I've met and became close to new group whom I believe are a few of the best people one would be privileged enough to call friends. We've been hanging out a lot lately, and by the will of the powers that be, I hope that doesn't change.

The days have been quite blessed as well ever since I've been able to practice tarot reading as well. People have been responding well since I tell them upfront that I am not predicting their future. I am simply presenting them their life in an objective point of view, others call it a chance pick of the card (which is technically correct), I call it something else. Nothing beats having the person react so positively to my reading, telling me how much I've hit the spot right on.

Next on the list of new things that I came across are the trainings that I facilitate for work. See, I now work at AIDS Society of the Philippines. It's a great office 'cause not only to I get to work a job I actually believe in, and the hours are humane, I also get to help a lot of people via the advocacy.

I love the fact that I get to go on mini-office trips and get to be out of the house once in a while to check-in at hotels. I am such a flighty person, I never seem to stay in one place for a length of time, however short it is.

Also, I've been proving my worth to the office staff as well as the board by going beyond my responsibilities and taking on tasks that I know I can help out on. Opinions that I share are so welcomed that I now can't seem to stop sharing my thoughts, they don't seem to mind. It's a great feeling to be appreciated for what you've got to say.

And now a new endeavor on life and love. I've been brought down by a lot of disappointing situations recently that I started to doubt myself on whether or not there's something wrong with me that people can't take me seriously. Friends have been telling me that I need a change, and something they advised me to do made it's mark. I'll be putting those words into action and I'll see where it'll take me. This is a new Gelo, a 2.0 version if you will.

A lot of things, don't you say? So here's to a deep breath, taking it all in, and living life as it should be lived.

From here to there

I was really pissed last night for a couple of things that happened.

So, as most of you guys would have noticed, I have been playing dress-up since yesterday. Documented c/o my beautiful pink Canon Powershot (except the last photo). Let's just say that I'm using it as an escape from some of the things that took my patience and used it as doormat.

Wonderful, I might say, the things that came from being frustrated.

I am sure that this wouldn't last since I don't know much about fashion. All I do is try and emulate the feel of the things that I see here on tumblr (I'm actually just a shirt and jeans kinda guy).

So, I guess what I got out of the sucky things in life, added up to my fashion sense (I hope). I guess this'd be a salute to davidguison, marklim, metrosexualisto, junkyardkid, elephantonadiet and all of those other blogs who bombard my eyes with clothes and stuff.

untitled

Oh disparaged love, oh dreams forlorn
To hope for green but pierced by thorn
Be true and leave all yearning stirred
By cruel longing from a heart unheard

A soul devoted to dare one’s fate
To risk a friendship and thus create
What could be sewn into silk tapestry
A life of love, partnership and family

Oh disparaged love, oh dreams for naught
In darkened skies where sun is sought
A morning break from solitude
To hope that this leap of faith would be for good

-----
This is what I'm feeling right now.

Family Memories

My crazy cousins.

I really really care for them a lot. I think they're the coolest people.

Even though most of them are younger than me, they've grown into their own personalities that I admire. They're social conscious, environmentally responsible and unequivocally comical.

Rarely do we have the opportunity to dress up and make fun of each other. I can't wait to get to see our solo photos so that I'll be able to make a collage out of it.

I can't help but feel nostalgia knowing that we're all growing old. Fun times, fun times.

Making A Difference

Have you asked yourself that lately?

What's the point of going to your work? Do you do it to finance your hip lifestyle? Do you do it so that it'll help you better yourself in the future? Do you do it just to make yourself famous someday? Here's a question, what will it do to help someone, or better yet, help society?

Early in life, being raised in a family of leftists and revolutionary thinkers (and a few hippies here and there), I grew to learn how to think beyond personal needs, but for the betterment of all. I had this need to make a point and ensuring that that point was going to make an impact. I had a goal to help.

I've asked myself that when I left college. At first, taking a call center job waiting for my license (hoping against hope that I pass the boards) would pave the way for tomorrows party's and drinking sprees, yet problems that my family encountered steered me towards a question: How can I help?

Then I heard of this call center who helps the deaf community communicate via the phone and hell they paid good money for it. I found a wonderful 'helping' job that would help me and my family as well. Two birds, one stone, if you will.

I passed my boards, became a nurse, stood as the breadwinner of my family for a time, and finally an opportunity to become who I studied to be presented itself. I took on the challenge of capitalism and suffered through the ill-profiting racket of a private hospital in trying to become a nurse. And a nurse I became.

A year went be and money constraints fed through my dream of helping medically so I needed to leave the white walls of my nursing job. But I left for an NGO that was still in line with providing people security from hazards that hospitals engorged our sewers, lakes and garbage dumps with. I joined in this crusade, still driven by my passion in life of helping.

Here I was exposed to more than my childhood lessons with my relatives have provided. I learned to reach out to society in a larger scale. It was rough, tiring, mind-consuming, but it was worth it. Not to mention it had good pay compensating for your time and effort. But the point is, we were fighting the good fight. All these placards, campaign materials, forums, etc, were aiming to make a change for the better. And change is what we did.

Now as I pack and embark on a new frontier, as I search for myself yet in other, greener pastures, I will never leave my advocacy in a shelf just to be a well-fed sheep of some corporate slave driver. I will make a stand, and shoot a flock if I have too, with this tiny pebble given to me that I call me.

I will make a difference. How about you, have you asked yourself that question lately?

October has come and gone.

Having been busy with a new job and getting cleared from my old one, I haven't had the patience to write.

I guess, to sum it all up, I've partied for a few days. I met up with friends. I've driven myself mad preparing for my family's reunion this December.

Anyway, here it is. I can feel the effect of the Anti-histamine kicking in. Good night!

Of Writing Long Hand And Of Me

I don't quite remember myself writing any of my works using a pen and a paper. I find it very tedious and I rarely finish what I start. I guess being born in the age where computers run almost anything can fervently mold ones way of life.

So while watching Vampire Diaries (Don't judge me, I'm a 90's child. An era where habitually climbing into a neighbor's window was romantic, people made romantic comedies or "romcoms" a fad, and where vampires were as good looking as Antonio Banderas, Brad Pitt and Tom Cruise), I realized, that whenever I blog, I always find myself in front of the lappy, the desktop or my iPod. If I so much as lift a finger and plan to write, a sensation envelopes me and bears down on all of my creative juices, draining them all out of my body. Whenever I write (actually the term I should start using is type), I want it done on a keyboard. The pen industry, I think should start re-assessing their business strategies. One has e-notebooks to write on anyways, and those can recognize someone's handwriting.

But yeah, I still write. I still have a pen with me, always. I'm a nurse, so I have a 4 color pen on hand, everyday. It's part of my work. But writing for personal reasons, I no longer do. I type, that's who I am.

As for me, I think I started getting the hang of being a nurse. I still have a lot of improvement to do, like serious improvements, but I think I've caught on the things that would help me get by through the day. This is just saying that my day was uneventful and nothing serious has happened or has to be done for my patient. A routine duty would be fine for me, thank you.

But this has one major consequence, I miss hanging out with my friends. I'm a people person. I love hanging out, meeting friends, talking. That's why, at times, I feel so frustrated that I can't get a life outside work and home. To the point of me just being totally disconnected, I hardly go home in a good mood. But all is well, I'll get through this, like what I've always done when hardships come to pass.

At least I know, I have my work, my tumblr, my facebook games, and my blog to keep me sane throughout this trying times. This phase wouldn't be forever, and I know it will pave the way to my professional success. Hahaha! Too melodramatic.

Kill me to end my cheesiness!

Post Hiring Woes

I'm officially a nurse. Finally. This is what I've been waiting for.

But, everything has a catch.

The stress that comes with the work is definitely not something I wanted. I have to push myself everyday just to be able to get myself to go to work. Being a nurse here in the Philippines is such a burden that I'm surprised that there are any nurses left in this country.

I know there are nurses who are in far worse situations that I am now that I have no right to complain, but it's too much to keep inside.

I don't think that I can go through retelling my story, though. I just felt the need to complain. Anyway, I shall brave through this ordeal. I shall soon overcome the learning curb and rise above it, better.

Hail all the nurses in the Philippines. Dakila tayo!

Au revoir to a world I don't fit in

I've hung out with a handful of people whom I really consider really good friends of mine early this year. But it seems as though somethings, however great it feels, would never fit.

I hate to say it, but I just can't keep up. I wanted to, but it's just not in me. The fashion, all those wonderful clothes that I so wanted to wear. The lifestyle, all those drunken nights of expensive partying. The socializing, in a culture where even if I could relate to, I just ain't am.

So here I am. I am Angelo. I am 23 years old. I am guy who loves rock and acoustic and I just can't stand pop and club music (techno, house, etc.). I am middle class, but I have a life despite of. I'm a shirt and jeans kinda guy and I will no longer submit myself to a dogma that gay guys should be metro to be attractive.

I am me.

This is not goodbye my friends of late, it's just me not trying to keep up.

Crossroads

So many things are to change this coming July.

So my mom's coming back home from the states. After months of working there, unfortunately, we weren't able to save up money since I don't have a job. I'm still doing my volunteer work and doing a few designing stints here and there.


Another thing, my volunteer contract is to end this July, so I have to wait for the hospital to call me when I'll be able to work for them as a floater.

Here's the thing, we're kinda in a rut financially (that's nothing new) so I think I'll have to find a job just to be able to help around the house while my mom finds new work when she gets home.

As of now, there are options, and the last of the list would be being a floater in WCMC.

But here's to hoping things would be better. It sure would be nice to have me and my mom's plans come to life.

I just need to have patience and stay solid with my practicality.

Wish me luck.

(photo from http://www.californiadar.org/)

I miss my mom. How I wish America is treating her well.