Saturday, May 05, 2007

a to do list

having to do all that needs to be done.

i have lots of things to accomplish before this summer semester ends and some of them are but nuissance to my brain spending too much of my precious time. stat and physics. damn, i know that i'm to blame for taking up these subjects again but i just can't help but rant 'cause i could have spent my days on thinking up great ideas for my orgs.

lol, what great sense of priority. i just can't help but think that my orgs weight much more than some of my studies. the thing that is funny is that i can't reach for my goals if i can't finish and do good with my studies. nursing is the most lucrative job for fresh graduates as of the moment so i've got to graduate and get a job just to be able to study what really interests me.

so yes, my studies have to be done and done right!

but what about myself? have i been doing right towards my own soul?

i actually don't know the answer to that yet. i'm enjoying my last few years as a kid, studying and financially dependent but i still can't help acquiring adult emotions now and then. i can't even figure out how i endure the hurt that accompanies these kinds of feelings. so how then to i deal with these things that need to be done? i'll get back to you.

as for the other dilemma i have, well for that i give it as much time as it needs. if i'm not yet ready, then i wont force myself. what needs to be done is that i need to mature as a person first before things would go along smoothely. people will understand if i make them understand, and people i love (and love me back) will understand just because. thanks to them for that.

what about others?

will i continue to bug and get bugged by my grandaunt? i still can't figure out why i can't stand her. i've got a truck-load of patience for complete strangers but for my own flesh and blood, i've got the patience of a hungry lion. nil. well that i've also got to take a rain check. i still don't have an answer to that as of now. i know i need to do something about it but, what the hell...

friends. what am i to do so that i wont miss them as much as i think i would. i'm graduating in just a year and surely we would go our separate ways. i grew to love these people and i can't help but feel that part of me would wither with every second of me being apart from them. i want to see them as often as i could, but even now as summer passes i rarely get the chance to talk to them, let alone meet up with them. i know i want something to be done but i can't seem to find a way for things to be done.

well, i know what i'm doing now is mere ranting but hey, at least i've done something.

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