Saturday, August 26, 2006

all piled up

things have been really bad lately.

first and probably the worst is that we are being kicked out of our place (we rent) and now we are forced to look for another place that would fit our budget even though we know that our meager resources would allow only a studio type place. it's really rather tiring to feel things all crumble down on you, things that you thought would never be a concern. i always felt that our house, even though rented, would be ours after some years past. god, we've been here almost 21 years, and they're forcing us out like dogs. this is where i grew up, literally. and with the situation popping out its ugly head like this, i'm a bit shaken and knocked around.

and to think that i only have a year left in nursing, the problems decides ludicrously to pile on me (actually i could use "us" 'cause it applies to my mom too) almost every single day. it gets to the point where in i need to pull my chin up, swallow my pride and bring pack-lunches to my duties (i know, so what's wrong with bringing lunches, the thing is my entire group eats out and i'm compelled to eat with them, nakakahiya naman sa fast food chain. it's really not a big deal for me 'cause i can make a joke out of these things but i can't help it when all of these dilemmas start haunting me slowly. i'm just human, i can feel ashamed sometimes.

i grew up having most of what i wanted given to me, now i can feel every single importance of what i am doing becuase i know that if i fail in my endeavor of becoming a nurse that all the hardships that my mom is going through we be a waste. i love her too much to do that.

plus there's the everyday pangs of the life of being a student nurse.

the only good thing now is that i seem to have an inkling towards a girl i'm friends with. i hope it turns out well.

wish me luck, with my problems and other things...


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